Successful People Listen

Listening, what an understated skill.

It’s not really that glamorous to talk about is it?

And yet 71% of you said it was the most important skill for a major gift fundraiser to possess.

We often think of people who sell, which I equate to major gift fundraising, as people who are really good talkers. Just the other day I was chatting with a neighbour who said his friend would be a great fundraiser, that he was larger than life. I felt a little boring when I said to him that I didn’t think of good sales people as big talkers. Guess I’m not being invited to dinner.

The best sales people I’ve met have actually been great at asking questions and then listening keenly. They also seem really interested in what you have to say and you end up walking away from the interaction feeling rather good about yourself. Now that’s a gift.

I’m not sure why it seems rather understated to me when in fact all of you who voted in our survey saw the significance of listening.

Perhaps it’s because we put so much emphasis on being an extrovert. And don’t we think of extroverts as the life of the party who entertain us with their many stories? And don’t you have to be extroverted to be a leader in your organization?

I don’t have the answers but I do know that some of the most impressive people I’ve interviewed were great listeners. How did I know that in an interview when they were asked to do most of the talking? They always listened carefully to my questions and came back with very thoughtful answers that were exactly what I asked for. They didn’t interrupt and lose the essence of the question and their questions about the position were very relevant to the information discussed in the interview.

The beauty about listening is it’s an important skill for most jobs, not to mention the impact it can have on your personal relationships. And it’s a skill that can be practiced, honed, and developed over time.

Are you a good listener?

Is becoming a good listener the skill between you and your next career opportunity?

Here’s a little practice that I do with myself every so often. I take a period of time or an event, let’s say a party or a meeting, and I decide only to ask questions and listen. Of course I answer questions if people ask me but I try to turn it back to being curious and attentive.

Is it hard? For me, you bet. I like to talk.

Do I find a difference in how people relate to me? I do.

Congratulations if you’re already a great listener! If not, try the exercise I mentioned and let me know what you thought or share any other techniques you have to improve this most important, and in my mind understated, skill.